You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
