he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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