hotel room ftw
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
