Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
