He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
