im six kinds of drunk right now
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
