Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Life is so much better after having sex.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
