things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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