I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
