I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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