just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My balls are so social today.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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