They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
