How'd it feel making her break her religion?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
a search helicopter?!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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