Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
