Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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