You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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