I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
