I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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