i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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