I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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