I'll bet she douches with gravy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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