your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
should my penis look like a turkey
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You pole danced in your parka.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
