sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i believe in u and ur pee
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
