So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
