that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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