I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
