I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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