OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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