Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
