so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
