Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
