So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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