As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
