Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
