Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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