So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize