As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
