Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I will pee on everything he values.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
