She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
