I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
50% drunk capacity currently
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
