we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
