it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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