yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
this is an emotional support booty call
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
