I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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