you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
