rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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