this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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