I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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