dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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