I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
