He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
