My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
