He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
