she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
