and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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