You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
