you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
