he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
