what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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