She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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